We seem to all know that one person who fakes their way through life. We hope we’re wrong about something like but it’s not hard to tell when someone is being fake.
And when someone is being fake, there are consequences to your relationship with them.
For starters, when someone isn’t being themselves, you can never fully trust them.
That means you can’t trust them with your information or problems, and you probably can’t share your good news with them either.
Someone who is constantly pretending to care or trying to please people can take their toll on you.
So, if you suspect that someone in your life is faking it, think about moving on.
Life’s too short to waste time on friends or even family members who pretend to care more than they do.
It’s especially too short to have fake friends.
Why someone might be fake.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if every person we met were genuine and perfectly comfortable and confident in their own skin?
It would be so much easier to find the people with whom you can connect deeply and know who to trust.
Unfortunately, many people aren’t comfortable with who they are, and so they try to be the person they think others would want them to be.
This stems from a deep need for social acceptance that they feel their own personality can’t provide.
Often, fakeness is a survival skill that these people have learned in order to protect themselves from getting close to anyone; if they never reveal who they truly are, they’re never in danger of being inevitably hurt.
Having someone like this in your life can be difficult, especially if you suspect that under all the fakeness, there is a genuinely likable person.
So how can you deal with someone who is fake?
I have a couple of ideas about how to handle fake people in your life so that you can move on to bigger and better things.
Watch your emotions
Don’t react emotionally to the fake behavior from your friend.
Even when you’re beyond aggravated at the fake behavior, try to keep your temper in check.
Over-reacting may be exactly what this person is seeking.
If the fake person is telling lies, and you know the truth, explain that you know the truth and that you feel they are lying, but do so with no anger or judgment.
Let the person know that you can see right through who they are pretending to be.
Help them feel important.
Let the person know that they don’t have to be anyone except who they truly are.
A little unconditional love and acceptance will go a long way with this type of person.
Allowing them to feel that may be the first time they’ve ever had the opportunity.
This can help them feel safer to be who they are, instead of someone they think you want them to be.
Fake people are often caught in the lies they tell to perpetuate their intended stories and letting them know that it’s just not necessary can open a door that might just change their life.
Remember it’s not about you.
The way fake people act has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Remember, they are trying to prove something to themselves and others, but when they don’t get the validation from other people, they are more likely to walk away.
Don’t engage in any interactions if you can avoid it and keep reminding yourself that they aren’t lying to you, they are lying to themselves.
And while it might be frustrating to deal with this kind of person, remember that they are the ones who are really suffering.
Limit your time with them.
If nothing else seems to work, you may have to just limit your time with the fake person or eliminate them from your life altogether.
It’s a hard decision to make but may be necessary to protect your own mental health.
If you limit the time you spend with them, you limit the aggravation they can potentially cause you.
If you’re forced to be social with them, try to keep a distance, and keep communications polite, but short.
Trust your gut.
If you get a yucky feeling in your belly about someone, it’s highly unlikely that you are wrong.
Trust your gut when you meet people and if you find that someone is talking about everything except themselves, there’s a good chance it’s because they don’t want you to know anything about them.
It’s a charade and it takes a lot of work to keep it going.
I can be hard to accept that someone you are close to is fake.
But for your own sake, you might have to limit your exposure to these types of people.
Keep in mind that just because one person was fake, it does not mean that you will never find true friends again.
Be open for new friends and believe in friendship.
Be positive, move on and meet new people.
You’ll find many more new friends which you can nurture on trust and admiration.
This is an assured solution for your biggest concern of how to deal with fake people.
Now I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever had to deal with a fake person in your life?
What kinds of things helped you maintain the relationship, or did you have to let it go?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
I would love to hear your stories.
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