You know how, from the time we are kids, we are taught to play fair, divide things fairly, and treat other people with fairness?
Those are obviously good qualities to teach children and to live by as adults.
But life isn’t always fair.
Every one of us has times when we feel that we didn’t deserve what we got or that everything is going wrong.
How does someone best deal with situations when life seems unfair?
Here are some ideas to help when you need to deal with life’s unfairness.
You can’t make everything fair.
Unfortunately, life isn’t fair!
Despite what we were taught as children, not everything happens fairly.
Someone else will get a promotion, win the lottery, or receive praise for their accomplishments instead of you.
Natural disasters happen anywhere, anyone can be the victim of a crime, and loved ones leave or die.
We’re all living through this right now with Covid!
So much of life’s unfairness is beyond your control.
And accepting that is the start of dealing with unfairness.
When you see something that is unfair, if you can fix it, get busy and do you best to do so.
People donate their time, skills, and money to help others whose lives are unfair.
But understand that you can’t make life fair for everyone, including yourself.
Sometimes bad things happen that are beyond anyone’s control.
Don’t stay a victim.
Forbes magazine describes people who feel that life is continuously unfair to them as members of the “My life is a mess” club.
No matter what happens, they never move past the unfairness.
I really struggle when I’m talking to someone who has that attitude of, “I can’t do it. I’m a victim.”
I have a hard time having patience with them.
The world is full of people who experience unfairness, and many of them overcome it, while many others do not.
The dictionary defines victim mentality as feeling like bad things always happen to you, and you are always at the mercy of forces you can’t control.
People who overcome significant unfairness, like a bad childhood, poor health, or natural disasters, accept that they didn’t cause the unfairness.
But they did the work to move beyond it.
There are those who’ve not only overcome the unfairness that was dealt to them, but they became successful in spite of it.
These people don’t use life’s unfairness as an excuse for poor behavior or lack of motivation.
Instead, they work hard at creating better circumstances for themselves.
And that’s what we all need to do.
Get out of the victimhood and work to find better circumstances.
So, how do we do that?
Turn anger and grief into action.
Most people who experience unfairness get angry and often grieve the loss they feel.
To deal with life unfairness, you need to move past anger grief and take action.
Anger and sadness are normal emotions after a loss.
A person who continually stays angry or upset will find themselves feeling like they can’t control anything in life.
Channeling anger and grief into constructive action helps you deal with life’s unfairness.
Mother Against Drunk Driving (MADD) was started by a mother who lost her child to a drunk driver.
Can you imagine the anger and grief she must have been feeling?! This was her child!
She turned her anger and grief into a national movement that has saved countless lives.
People who use their anger and grief to help others and correct wrongs accept their emotions and do what they can to fix unfairness.
Look for the good.
The internet and news media give us a steady stream of stories about life unfairness across the globe.
There are reports of wars, famine, and deaths every day.
Our minds need to counteract these unfair situations with the good in life.
Some media outlets specialize in telling uplifting stories that highlight people and situations that show the brighter side of things.
Oprah is really good for that. I love a lot of her programming, because she helps you get out of whatever mindset you’re in.
While you shouldn’t deny real problems, you can deal better with life unfairness when you remember that not everything is unfair.
People do catch a break, help each other, and work together for good. It happens every day!
When people help each other, sometimes what seems unfair has a better outcome.
Look for the good in life and don’t focus only on the unfairness. Your mind needs to see the balance, or everything will seem unfair to you.
Monitor yourself.
The World Health Organization (WHO) states that there are over 300 million people in the world with depression.
That number is huge and really scary when you look at it.
While depression has many causes, there is help for those who suffer from this disease.
When dealing with life unfairness, it’s easy to feel depressed.
And this is where you need to watch yourself.
If your feeling of unfairness is staying around too long, or becoming more of an issue, you might be dealing with more of a problem.
Depression can become a cycle, making it harder and harder to deal with anything.
Feeling sad about life unfairness is common but get help if your emotions are causing you to suffer unnecessarily.
Talk to your doctor if you feel depressed.
Therapy and medication may help you to deal better the next time your life is unfair.
So now I’d love to hear from you!
I know you’ve felt that life hasn’t always been fair to you either.
How have you handled it?
Or what kinds of things help you when you’re feeling like life isn’t fair?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
I would love to hear your stories.
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