How To Deal With It When You Fail After Working So Hard!
I thought I’d talk about how to deal with it when you fail today because I am having a personal experience with it.
I’m not going to go into details, because it’s personal, and not really important here.
But Richard and I have been working really, really hard to reach a goal.
And it turns out we missed the goal by a really, really small amount.
We were sooooo close!
The kicker though is…
We missed the goal because I made a HUGE mistake.
I transposed a number, and so we didn’t have the right target in mind.
And MY mistake came with a HUGE price!
I am looking really hard to see if there is a way to fix this.
But I think it’s done and there’s nothing I can do now.
I don’t do well with “letting go.” 🙂
Loss is hard. Loss, of any kind, is painful.
Loss is especially tough when it gives way to the cruel honesty that you’re just not going to get what you want.
And it’s even worse when you realize that it was you who caused it.
We have all been told at one point or another how life isn’t fair.
While this is true, simply knowing this fact alone still doesn’t make us feel any better when something that we really want seems to avoid us.
And then there’s this quote:
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
Potent words, spoken by the Dalai Lama, that I’ve frequently seen on personal development sites.
It’s pretty comforting, right?
That stressful period that’s awfully draining and miserable might actually be for the best.
Now, of course it doesn’t appear plausible that “the best” is going to stem from the ugly crying that you’re presently experiencing, but maybe it will.
Maybe you don’t know why or how it could come to be. But there is pure hope in that statement – hope that not only things will turn around, but they will turn around for the better.
So, here’s the thing…
When this happens, there are ways of handling the situation that are far more productive than taking on an attitude of defeat and feeling sorry for ourselves.
It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a day.
But then you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.
So, I have a couple of key things to consider during those times when you’re really disappointed because you weren’t able to get what your heart really desired.
And they’re also the same things I’m currently working on.
Appreciate The Needs You DO Have
Being able to separate the things you need from what you want is extremely important in life.
All around the world, there are people who don’t even have the most basic things most of us take for granted.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to go after things other than the basic needs…
Not at all…
But try to avoid getting these things mixed up.
I have so many things in my life that I am grateful for.
And my screw up doesn’t take all those things away.
I’m not your mom telling you to eat your peas because there are starving children in China (or wherever).
LOL! That’s what I heard as a child. Sorry. 🙂
And I’m not saying you can’t have what you want because others don’t.
I’m just saying try to appreciate what you do have.
Appreciation helps you see the overall picture.
If you will look at each time that you don’t get something you want, I can guarantee that if you really think about, you can find something in your life that you DO have to balance it out.
If you were to go through life getting anything and everything you wanted, how much do you think you would appreciate those times when you actually do get what you were going for?
Honestly Reflect On Why You Didn’t Get It
This is super important.
As time goes on, we all have situations or things we can look back on that didn’t work out, only to realize that what seemed like a tragedy at the time clearly worked out for the best.
I know, crazy, huh!
I bet if you look back, you’ll find those things.
You were devastated. It was horrible.
But then after a couple of months or weeks… or maybe even days went by, you start to see that it was better that you didn’t get that.
So, I know I am 100% the reason why Richard and I didn’t achieve what we were working so hard for.
And when you’re in the moment, though, it’s most of the time going to be impossible to realize that what you didn’t get this time was a good thing.
Maybe this not getting or achieving that thing you wanted so badly, was actually a fork in the road, redirecting us to something much better.
So, I know I have to move on.
I can’t keep beating myself up over this.
And I am already starting to work towards that something better.
Whatever you are feeling like you missed out on – the thing that slipped through your grasp – make an effort to glance up the road.
If you do so, you might be able to see that this failure could very well be for your benefit.
Even if what you wanted may not be harmful or a detriment to your life moving forward, the sheer disappointment of falling short can easily provide the motivation you need to go after something even better!
There are so many examples of people achieving fantastic things and accrediting their success to past failures.
Story after story……
Okay, so what if you have done both of these things, but still honestly believe you are supposed to have the thing that avoided you?
If this is the case, regroup and try again!
Don’t give up now!
I can guarantee you… most of the things worth having are not going to come easily.
If this were the case, they wouldn’t be nearly as fulfilling when we get them.
If something that you didn’t get or achieve is constantly staying in your mind, this could very well be a sign that it is meant for you, just not right now.
Only you can determine whether or not something is right for you.
But once you have made the decision that it is, be ready to fight for it!
The fact is, the life of a successful person is filled with failures.
We all fail over and over again. It’s how we learn.
It is how you deal with these failures that separates winning in the long run, from going through life resentful and feeling sorry for yourself.
Don’t ever allow yourself to give up in the pursuit of anything you truly believe is supposed to be yours.
You got this! And so do I!
So, go after it!
Now I’d love to hear from you.
Can you think of times when you failed and were devastated, only to figure out later that it was a good thing because it opened things up for something better?
What kinds of things help you to keep going after you’ve had a disappointment like that?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
I would love to hear your stories.
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