Comparing Yourself To Others Helps Self-Doubt Thrive
If you’re not careful, comparing yourself to other people can be detrimental to your present and future successes.
Rarely is it an equal comparison.
You might not be at the same experience level of those you’re comparing yourself to.
And you have no idea of everything that person went through to be where they are today.
Their success might not be the magical transformation you perceive it to be.
Comparisons and Self-Doubt
Self-doubt can arise from the comparisons you make between you and other people.
Some people seem to have the Midas touch to whatever project they choose to pursue.
At least it might appear that way.
But you aren’t privy to what goes on before the huge successes.
Those people who are very successful have likely spent an enormous amount of time, money and effort to get where they are at today.
It might look easy, but chances are they also had many self-doubts about their own potential for success before it happened.
It’s natural to want to compare ourselves to what others are doing.
It happens in every business, or sport, or different areas of life.
It’s especially true when we’re in competition with others.
But it can cause you to doubt yourself and start beating yourself up about why you can’t be successful like they are.
And that’s what leads to low self-esteem
If the many failures that that person surely encountered were figured into the mix, that other person’s success may look entirely different to you.
When you’re watching the success of others, it can make you feel like such a loser – because someone is always making more money than you or seems to be more successful.
Comparisons like that are dangerous to your own self confidence and can defeat what you’re trying to accomplish.
Everyone’s Life is Different
Life is not fair.
Some people are born with a lot of privileges.
They may have wealthy parents, good skin, or the right connections to get their dream job.
Regardless of what advantages people may have, it is a waste of time to compare your life to theirs.
You never know the background of a person’s success.
You are likely not aware of their many failures in the past or of how many hours and dollars they’ve spent getting to this point.
Focus on what you want to accomplish and figure out how you will achieve your goals.
Positive effects of comparison
But then, comparison isn’t all bad.
There are things it can do for you that are good.
Looking at what others are doing can help you believe that something greater and more rewarding is possible for you because you see it in someone else.
It can help you have a clearer pathway to success because you have a role model who is ten steps ahead of you doing what you long to, and watching them helps you a see a blueprint for getting there
It can help you to grow even more.
When you see someone else’s expansion, it reminds you that you have what it takes too to achieve that same outcome or accomplishment… or maybe even something greater
Turn comparisons around
The positive effects are very beneficial to your success, as long as you don’t go down the negative rabbit hole.
If you’re starting to feel “less-than” or less confident or unworthy, then comparing yourself to someone else is hurting you.
We need to turn that around.
So let’s change the way we look at comparisons.
One way to look at comparisons differently is to view them as challenges.
“If she can do it, I know I can!” may be exactly the boost of adrenalin you need to take action and make your own success come true.
Many people who have reached a certain level of success use comparisons to others as a tool to strategize their future business moves.
It provides quick insight into trends and what’s working for others so you can incorporate many of the same ideas for yourself.
And it shows you what is possible for you too.
Change your Narrative
Make sure that you’re looking at it from the viewpoint of knowing what’s possible.
Don’t allow yourself to wonder why she’s accomplished what you haven’t been able to.
Dig deep into yourself and look at the story you’re telling yourself. You may need to rewrite it.
If you need help with this, here is a mantra you can say every day:
I am on the right track and on my own, unique path to building a life and career I love and am proud of.
I am NOT behind. I am exactly where I need to be, learning and growing all the time.
Remember, you are unique, powerful, capable, and fully worthy of charting your own empowered and joyful course.
But first you have to stop the self-recrimination.
Don’t let that stop you from reaching all that you desire
Is it going to be easy? Nope, probably not!
Learning to stop the habit of comparing yourself to others may take some time.
Changing your mindset does not happen overnight.
It’s a process. The key is to work on getting better every day. As long as you’re working on it and growing, you’re moving in the right direction.
When you realize how special you are, the way you look at your life will change for the better.
Now I’d love to hear from you.
Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others?
What kinds of things help you to remember that comparing yourself to someone else isn’t even an equal comparison and it won’t help you?
What kinds of things help you to remember to look at the possibilities, rather than what she has compared to what you have?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
I would love to hear your stories.
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